On the Lies I’ve Believed and the Truth He’s Giving

“The eye is the lamp of the body,” Jesus said. “If your eyes are good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eyes are bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.” My eyes have been bad for so long, viewing dirt as gold and being blind to the treasureContinue reading “On the Lies I’ve Believed and the Truth He’s Giving”

Meeting Dostoevsky

Every time I open that last book of his, he tells me that before I go any further, I must submit to the lens of the only beautiful type of suicide, the kind that brings life. The epigraph to The Brothers Karamazov  frames what’s to come in the words spoken and incarnated by Christ: thatContinue reading “Meeting Dostoevsky”

Active Love is a Harsh and Fearful Thing

The love that springs from my natural heart is thin and sharp as a razor blade, outwardly glimmering, but ready to cut and run at the least sign of ingratitude or condescension. The love that I show, in my own strength, is stingy and calculating, the personal benefits that its actions might reap its motivatingContinue reading “Active Love is a Harsh and Fearful Thing”

Waiting, Meaning, Kingdom

“I have suffered the atrocity of sunsets. Scorched to the root My red filaments burn and stand, a hand of wires.”-Sylvia Plath, “Elm” It haunts acutely when she travels alone. A girl, eyes fixated out and beyond, knifed by meaning and meaninglessness. The rhythmic lull of a Soviet era train hums her to thought asContinue reading “Waiting, Meaning, Kingdom”

Unless a Kernel of Wheat

“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” John 12:24 These are the words of Jesus that Dostoevsky chose to open The Brothers Karamazov  with, words that are now etched as the epitaphContinue reading “Unless a Kernel of Wheat”